06 June 2009
i am a dj i am what i play
i always wanted to be a dj. on the radio. not in night clubs or anything. i never wanted to do it in front of other people. i don't want to see how disappointed everyone looks when i play something. i don't want to see them lining up bored along the walls. i don't want to see them not dancing. not enjoying themselves. not enjoying listening to the things i love. i tried it once and it was horrible. i ended up playing young folks twice just to try and keep people happy. no. i think i'd rather just imagine someone is listening even if perhaps they're not. i can fool myself quite easily. i know i only end up trying to appease everyone if i can see how they're reacting. so i think if i was a dj it would have to be on the radio where i couldn't see anyone who was listening, and i would have to have a show in the early hours of the morning. i'm too melancholic to be a breakfast dj, and i'm not lively enough after the three o clock wall to do drivetime. i'd like to be like jack killian, but without all those weirdoes calling in. just playing records.
if you want to listen then you can. and if you don't want to listen then i'll never know.